My Happy Place
26 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Last May, two and a half years after our wedding day, my husband and I finally took the honeymoon we had wanted to take immediately after the big day. We pulled out of Clare Michigan around 5:00pm on May 13 after spending nearly 53 hours on the road; we arrived at our motel late, in the dark, exhausted, but excited. The next morning we woke early, (ok I woke up early and then woke my husband up) got into our car and made a short trip (ok, actually we got lost and it made our trip at least three times as long as it should have been) and entered the property of Walt Disney World!!
For my husband, this was his first ever trip to “The World” and I have to say, it took quite a bit of convincing that he would enjoy himself, it’s really not just about children. For me, this was my fourth trip; albeit the last one had been 10 years previous and the two times before that were just bits and pieces of memories I think I remember, glued together with old pictures I pulled out of a box from my mom’s house; and I was elated to be back!
Hop, skip, and jump past some non-important details, I have to say that I had a hard time not bawling my eyes out once we entered the Magic Kingdom and began our walk down Main Street U.S.A.; also, the mid-day parade that decided to begin going by did NOT help matters out one bit either. We were finally here. Hundreds of miles away from on a vacation that had been years in the making, away from all the stress we had been going through for so long, away from our jobs and from school, we were in the Happiest Place on Earth, and I was happier than I remember being in a long time!
We were in “The World” for 7 days, with plans to spend 6 of them galavanting around all four theme parks, two water parks, and just generally all over Walt Disney World property; this didn’t exactly work out as planned. I managed to come down with a wicked cold halfway through our amazing vacation and spent an entire day in bed; then couldn’t recover enough energy to really accomplish or enjoy nearly as much as I wanted and planned on. The few precious days that we did spend running around with childish abandon was enough, at least, to convince my husband that I wasn’t actually stark raving mad, and that Walt Disney World can be a great place for adults. Therefore, on our long road trip home, the decision was made that we would make another trip back to our childhood as soon as feasibly, and financially, possible.
As soon as we got home, I started the preliminary process of planning. After several months of tossing choices back and forth and talking with our travel agent, we booked our second Walt Disney World vacation in as many years. I’m happy to report that I will be back in my happy place immediately following the end of our semester, one hundred days away from today! Come on winter semester, let’s get this over with! I have a date with Mickey Mouse and I cannot wait!
A Curse and A Blessing
25 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
For those of you who have been following my blogs since it’s inception, and those of you who have read back through some of my older blog posts or have wandered about my blog in general, you might know a bit about my husband and myself. We have been, unsuccessfully, try to start a family of our own for years now. This has been a heartbreaking journey for us, and one they we still walk upon today. It is a part of our story and something we live with every day of our lives. Something so simple and easy as having a family of our own is something we’ve been jumping through hopes for a long time just to have a real chance at trying to have. It’s awful. Plain and simple. I can go on and on about how unfair and painful and just plain wrong it is to ever have to face a challenge like this, and have frequently bemoaned just such thoughts in older blog posts, however if there is one thing I’ve learned from this situation, is that it is also a blessing.
A blessing?!?!?! Are you kidding me? How could this possibly be a blessing? Well I suppose as cliché as it sounds; every cloud has a silver lining.
For us, this means that my husband and I get to spend more time together as a couple. We’ve been together for nearly 6 years now, just the two of us; with no children to draw our attention away from each other and from our relationship. There are not a whole lot of married couples who can say that. We are able to have more time to work on our relationship together; we have more time to get out and do stuff together. If we want to go watch a movie, we don’t have to plan it in advance and find a baby-sitter, or plan our schedules around sports practices or after school activities. If we have an argument, we can yell at the top or our lungs at each other for as long as we want to and not have to table the issue because we have children at home. We work things out at our own pace using whatever actions we feel necessary whenever we want to. It’s total freedom. We’re not tied down to anything but each other. It is truly is amazing. We do have a dog that we need to make arrangements for before we take off for more than a day, but other than that, we answer to nobody but each other.
This is a gift. The ability to truly spend time building and re-working our marriage to make things work is awesome. Even though we want to have children of our own, and wish we had them already; while we wait we have each other. I’m trying to use this time that we have to our advantage. Enjoying each other and time we get to spend together, knowing that we should use this wisely. A good foundation can hold up a building for hundreds of years. If we want to make sure our marriage will be a long and happy one, we should take the time now to cement our relationship and make less work for us later one.
Infertility is a curse and a blessing; we’re trying to use it to our advantage. Good things come to those who wait, right? We’ll try the hard work and patience approach.
A car! A car! My Kingdom for a car!
16 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
In my last post, I had mentioned my lack of vehicle for the last year. In January of 2011 I sold my very first vehicle which I have had since high school. I had a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee which had some major transmission issues, needed new tires, the lift gate wouldn’t open anymore, and a myriad of other small issues. I was ready for a new vehicle. Well a ‘new’ used vehicle anyway. I live close enough to work that I can easily walk, and so I did. I put that money away with the intention of purchasing a new car within a few months. For those of you who have been reading, you know that instead of purchasing a new car last spring, my husband and I went on our honeymoon 2 1/2 years late to Walt Disney World. It was completely worth it! Walking a couple blocks for a few months for a trip to Disney World? Yeah, I’d do it again. However a vehicle was still needed.
This last October we finally had set aside what we thought would be an appropriate amount to purchase a decent vehicle. So I spent a few weeks searching for a vehicle. I went back and forth on what I actually wanted, contacting several dealerships and generally having bad experiences, if I was even to find something I was interested in the first place. So on a whim, I checked craigslist since I’ve sold tons of stuff successfully on there, and did actually hit on something that sounded just about perfect for me!
So my husband and I made a trip up to Traverse City to a private residence to take a look at their 2003 Ford Explorer they were selling. It was in great condition and at a great price, so we came home with my ‘new’ SUV.
For about two weeks, I was ecstatic. I finally had my own vehicle again! No more walking to work, no more arranging rides for doctor’s appointments or shopping trips, I could take off whenever I wanted to. I had no idea how much I actually missed this! Then Friday night band practice for my husband’s band rolled around and wanted to drive my truck out there to show everybody. We got about three-quarters of the way there when my truck made a weird noise, the cruise control kicked off and my o/d off light came flickers. The truck didn’t like shifting anymore and was generally acting weird.
We got through band practice that night and made it home and then next day frantically called my best friend who is a mechanic. We spent a month and a half and about $900 just to figure out that I need a news transmission! Boy, I got rid of my last vehicle due to transmission issues, and now here I sit with a new vehicle that has transmission issues!
So as soon as I get the money, I will be replacing a transmission. I guess I was just destined to pay for a new transmission one way or another!
Work, School, and a Social Life?
11 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Life in the past year has been busy to say the least. I am currently just starting my third semester back to school. Thanks to my work schedule and the fact that I didn’t have a vehicle for the last couple of semesters, I’ve been taking all online classes. When I was originally in college, I couldn’t honestly tell you that I would have done well with online classes. It took all that I had to actually get up and physically GO to classes in the first place, let alone put aside time when I wasn’t actually in class just to do homework. Not that I did horrible in school the first time around, but I, and I think a lot of college students, was much more interested in the social aspect in school than the learning.
Now, I’m thriving. I can log on whenever I have a chance and work on things an hour here and few minutes there and still go to work, get housework done, etc. I can work my class load around my social life. HA! These days my social life revolves mostly around tagging along with my husband to his band practice and hang out either with the guys in the garage or heading into the drummers house to spend the evening talking with his wife. Every now and then we find a good time to spend a few hours with our friends who have kids because it’s too hard for them to find time or a sitter. Which, really, between work and school, and my husband’s band, there aren’t a whole lot of hours left over for socializing. We tend to spend that time sleeping and trying to keep up with the house!
I’m not complaining though, busy is good, and my husband and I try to spend as much time together as possible. Which is a big part of the reason I schlep myself out to band practice with him nearly every time.
Work on the other hand, well yeah. This last six months or so have been extremely stressful and disappointing for me. There has been a lot of personal conflicts bleeding over into the work environment and it has completely changed relationships and work ethics. I have been up for a number if different positions that would move me into a better position and environment, but I have lost each of those opportunities. It has put a great strain on me, more so than I was already dealing with. I’m ready to find even ground in the work department as quickly as possible!
So that’s a very general overview over life in the last year. Now we can start getting down to some of the nitty-gritty of it all.
A Little R & R
08 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Doctor's Appointments, Infertility, ivf, My Feelings, TTC, Uncategorized
No, not rest and relaxation, although I would truly love to find a little bit of that; re-naming and re-vamping. I haven’t posted much in this blog that last almost two years, and now thanks to one of my college courses I will be revitalizing my blog and take another go at it!
I’m changing things up a little bit, this is no longer going to just be a place to vent about the trial and tribulations of trying to start a family of my very own, it’s going to be a place for me to discuss what’s going on in my life at the moment, or something I’ve been thinking about, or reading, or listening to.
To my faithful followers, I owe you an apology for my marked absence. I haven’t been in a great head space for quite a while and found it easier to just take a step back from my situation and re-evaluate things. Yes my husband and I are still wanting to start our family as soon as possible, but we’re not as “actively” pursing it as we were. We’re not doing as many doctors appointments and medications as we were. Things almost seem to be righting themselves naturally, so for the time being we’re leaving well enough alone and keeping our fingers crossed, but we’re living our life.
So, here we go again. Are you ready to walk the road with me again?
